Session 9

Session 9 Recap -- By Aurelae
Hardholme Game 9, 4/13/2018

In attendance: Chris (as Chris lol), Bob (Celador), Grant (So’Sathol), Lauren (Aurelae), Caspar (Aequitus), Rick (Rael), and Eric (Ulrich).

@Tipsy Tabaxi:

 * The group is hanging out at the soon-to-be-opened Tipsy Tabaxi. A soft opening, if you will. #giggaty


 * Oh and Celador is there, he’s been playing Bear Grylls for the last 9 months out in Wildeholme, AND he smells like it… Aequitus predestinations him clean, much to his dismay.


 * Surprise! It’s reunion time for the 70th as well! So’Sathol waltzes through the door. He’s a Firbolg, about 7’2” or so, and has a very calm and collected demeanor. He is quiet, clever, and observant. He also calls everyone a description of their person and not their actual name lol.
 * Rael is “Sings of Sex”
 * Aurianya is “Licks Herself Clean”
 * Grandl is “Digs for Gold”


 * Rael: “So’Sathol! Where the hell have you been for the last year and a half??? We thought you went East with the others!”


 * So’Sathol: “Healing Hands. Across the street.” *he points* “Over there.”


 * Rael: “This whole time???”


 * So’Sathol: “Well…yes.”

@Town:

 * The group prepares for their journey to explore South. Rations, gear, etc. Celador buys some pure grain alcohol “for medicine.” Lol

Day 1 :

 * They walk out of Hardholme on the road they first came in on upon their Arrival Day. So they walked back out, through Steepridge, and Aurelae asks if they can walk West along the ridge towards The River. They haven’t been this way before, and she suspects there may be another entrance into the Gem Mines somewhere along this ridge. They walk until they meet The River and don’t see much, but…wait what’s that? Aurelae walks up the cliff face with her Spider Slippers and sees what could be an opening…she explores and IT IS! Set into the cliff-face, not quite visible from the land, is an enormous set of metal doors set into the cliff. The River comes right up to the doors, and you suspect that the design is such that entire boats could travel in and out of this entrance…


 * But that is an exploration for another day. They make note of that and move Southwards, along The River.


 * They camp, Wngas appear, but no luck.

Day 2 :
@The Edge of the World:
 * They continue along The River and they come across an entire herd of Mirages! They are just hopping around, looking adorable.
 * Aurelae: “NO Aequitus, we are NOT killing and eating a Bunnycorn!”
 * Rael: “Yeah, AE-QUI-TUS."
 * Aequitus: * sighs and mutters under his breath* “I will damn well eat what I want…”
 * But he does not kill any Mirages. This time…
 * They eventually get to The Edge of the World, or where the Blue Hyla told them that The Master’s city used to be. The River at one point simply falls right off, and looks exactly like a waterfall. They can see the cliff-face going down, left, and right, as far as their eyes can see, into the distance.


 * Aurelae explores down the side of the cliff (because spider shoes are THE BEST THING EVAR YEAH!!!) and walks downwards for a solid 15-20 minutes…and… nothing changes. It’s just more cliff, more waterfall, and more distance. She doesn’t want to get too far away from the group, so she eventually turns around, making a mental note to come and explore here another day when she has more time.


 * Next, the group decides to go and investigate Old Hardholme (#Softholme # Flaccidholme). They are looking for, well, literally anything, but especially useful things and evidence against Dar et al.


 * Old Hardholme is about what you would expect – abandoned, decrepit, and looted.


 * They next investigate the giant pile of Arrival Vessels, or rather, the ones on the bottom that weren’t damaged by the explosion at the 71st Arrival.


 * GOLD! And…EVIDENCE!!! In one of the ships towards the very bottom of the pile Rael finds what looks like a pipe bomb that (they think) failed to go off for some reason when the other one closer to their ship went off. Residual explosives…likely the ones put together by Millicent under Dar’s orders. They put this in the Bag of Holding for safekeeping and set up camp in Old Hardholme.


 * That night…Wngas!
 * Celador quietly pulls some yellow nuts from his bag and rattles them towards the Wngas as they had begun to run away – THEY STOP DEAD IN THEIR TRACKS and turn towards him BUT he does not succeed in catching them.


 * These yellow nuts grow on Daemonwhite trees! #daemonnuts lmao
 * So’Sathol turns into a cat and stalks the Wngas, simply observing them. Wngas do not have a scent. The Wngas are just walking about our camp as we sleep, and they seem to be observing us. Their faces are like blank masks, with no eyes or mouths, but each one is unique still, with tiny, delicate, intricate designs on them. Wngas do not leave footprints. There are about a dozen of them around our camp, and they are very curious about us, and appear to be studying us.

Day 3 :

 * Before the group begins walking East, Celador cannot contain his curiosity about the Magic Beans in the Group Bag of Holding any longer, and plants one 60 feet north of the Arrival crash site.


 * A giant stone statue made in Celador’s image arises from the earth, and immediately begins hurling insults at Celador. They name him “Rockador.”


 * Rockador: “Hey! Hey kill that guy! Him right there! He’s a TERRIBLE person! He hates you all! He killed all of your mothers! And he smells!”
 * Rockador’s feet are firmly planted in the ground, so he can’t follow us, but he really really reaaaaallllyyy hates Celador.


 * Rael kisses Rockador on the cheek (he does not seem to want to harm anyone except Celador) and casts Thunderwave and it does nothing. Rockador is super solidly built.
 * Celador gets a piece of wood or stone nearby and writes on it with chalk “Don’t believe his lies.” and sets it near Rockador, facing the pile of ships. Because Rockador is now going to be the first thing ALL new Arrivals see the second they step out from the ship.
 * Ulrich climbs Rockador, and he allows him to, and he writes “Don’t believe his lies” all over the stone creature. Rael takes the chalk and draws a dick on Rockadors head lol. (Keepin it classy Hardholme haha.)
 * As they walk away from Rockador he continues to yell at Celador: “Hey! Hey! You can’t trust him! Hey you! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of ELDERBERRIES!!!”


 * They continue walking along The Edge of the World, going East, about 200 feet from The Edge. There are no hills, just flat plains. They make a note to tell Maeve that this might be a great place to plant a line of trees.


 * They camp and the night is uneventful.

Day 4 :

 * More walking, more plains, uneventful travel.


 * They camp, and Wngas!


 * So’Sathol morphs into a wolf-spider the size of a small dog and stalks the Wngas again, just observing. There are 14 Wngas this time, and they are poking around our camp as we sleep. They do not seem to have an agenda other than being curious and wanting to study us.


 * So’Sathol sets a web trap to catch one of the Wngas. He gets one! He speaks to it – in Sylvan: “Don’t run friend. Just want to talk.” The Wnga giggles, spins around, and disappears…

Day 5 :

 * They continue walking and eventually can see mountains in the distance to the East. So they now know that the Golden Mountains continue all the way to The Edge of the World.


 * Then…the ground begins to shake in a familiar way to some of the group…


 * Aurelae: RUN!!!!! NOW!!!
 * A giant, green and thorny-spined Quake Snake bursts out of the ground directly in front of them!
 * Ulrich runs, not to the West, but to the South of the Quake Snake, and activates Necrotic Shroud. It is a powerfully epic display of dark angel power. His eyes turn into deep pools of darkness, and two skeletal, ghostly, flightless wings sprout from his back. Aaaaaaaannnnndddddd the Quake Snake gives ZERO fucks.


 * Aequitus, Aurelae, and Sephra bolt to the Southwest. They want distance between them and the Quake Snake, but will not abandon their friends.


 * So’Sathol turns into a wolf-spider and also runs South.


 * Celador grabs yet another magic bean from the Group Bag of Holding and throws it INTO the Quake Snake’s mouth…
 * Then he uses an action surge to disengage, and follows the others running South/Southwest.
 * Rael follows suit with the others running away, using Mantle of Inspiration to speed the fuck out of there.


 * Ulrich reacts and moves around the Quake Snake to the Northeast side of it, splitting the group in an attempt to distract it long enough for the rest to get away…
 * Time for a dex saving throw against the Quake Snake… and if you ever wonder what happens when you roll a 1 against a dex saving throw against a Quake Snake…you are swallowed whole. ULRICH IS SWALLOWED WHOLE BY THE QUAKE SNAKE. HE IS INSIDE THE QUAKE SNAKE NOW.


 * Rael: “My gods THE BAG OF HOLDING! … Oh and also Ulrich…”


 * Ulrich starts stabbing at the inside of the Quake Snake (but he rolls really badly again…Aurelae gives him an inspiration and he stabs again and hits!).


 * Aequitus casts Scorching Ray, Aurelae throws her Bead of Force she was saving for an emergency, and Sephra bites and claws away at the Quake Snake. Sephra takes a big hit from the Quake Snake but is still going.


 * So’Sathol casts Fairy Fire, giving everyone advantage.


 * Ulrich begins taking stomach acid damage. We know he won’t last long.


 * The Quake Snake begins to RESCIND INTO THE GROUND with Ulrich still inside!!! BUT seconds later it re-emerges directly in front of the group!
 * Sephra attacks again, but prompts an attack of opportunity and is down to 1 HP.


 * Ulrich begins to stab away and is doing some good damage now.


 * The Quake Snake hits Aequitus for 17 damage and he is not looking good. Aequitus casts Scorching Flame again and Wild Magic occurs, suddenly Aurelae, So’Sathol, and Rael have 4 HP fewer and Aequitus is up 12 HP…


 * Aurelae shoots her arrows and Sephra continues to bite and claw the Quake Snake with all the fury of her Thundercat ancestors.


 * So’Sathol attacks, misses, and turns invisible as he moves Southwest.


 * Rael casts Vicious Mockery “Oi! Veiny Boy!” and runs Southeast towards Celador


 * Quake Snake’s turn again and it SWALLOWS AURELAE WHOLE and she is down to 17 HP after taking stomach acid damage. Things are not looking good…
 * Sephra attacks the Quake Snake with a newfound fury, she is determined to claw Aurelae out of this beast.
 * Ulrich takes 15 HP more damage and is now unconscious now must role for mutilation damage… but he succeeds and is not mutilated! For now…
 * Aurelae is taking stomach acid damage now and is at 2 HP…
 * Thanks to Rael’s Vicious Mockery, the Quake Snake misses an attack on Sephra.
 * Aequitus continues to dole out high damage to the Quake Snake with his Scorching Ray attack.
 * Aurelae remembers she has a Potion of Greater Healing on her and drinks it, bringing her back up to 16 HP.
 * Sephra is frantically clawing and biting at the Quake Snake. She does so until her last breath. She not only dealt a large amount of damage to the Quake Snake, but she also served as a target for the Quake Snake’s attacks, giving her own life by doing so. Sephra was a noble companion, a brave beast, and valiant til the very end. Her sacrifice was not in vain though, for if she had not taken the attention of the Quake Snake onto herself, those attacks would have fallen on another of the 70th or 71st.
 * RIP Sephra, the Valiant, Thundercat of Hardholme.


 * Aurelae takes more stomach acid damage and falls unconscious (-1 HP) before she can reach the Bag of Holding that is still strapped to Ulrich’s unconscious body.


 * Ulrich takes more stomach acid damage, his left foot is completely eaten away and dissolves, and his body gives up, and  he dies . Ulrich will now need to be resurrected with the Scroll of Resurrection, or he will remain dead.


 * BUT WAIT – suddenly, Aurelae’s eyes open wide as she gasps and is conscious again! (NATURAL 20 BABY! Back to 1 HP) She reaches into her bag and eats the Goodberries she always prepares before they go out on a journey (back up to 11 HP now).


 * The Quake Snake is actually looking a bit ragged now. Its head is full of scorch marks from Aequitus, arrows litter its torso, and on its back are deep gouges and bite marks left by Sephra.


 * So’Sathol uses his Vine Whip attack and long vines with razor sharp thorns appear out of nowhere, lashing out towards the Quake Snake (11 dam) and to the surprise of all – the Quake Snake begins to writhe and shake and screeches as it FALLS DEAD TO THE GROUND.
 * Knowing they have precious little time to get Ulrich and Aurelae out of the Quake Snake, So’Sathol acts quickly and uses his medical knowledge to determine where inside the beast their friends are most likely to be.
 * Rael wastes no time at all and jumps right into the mouth of the dead Quake Snake, and lithely shimmies down to rescue his friends.
 * Rael gets to the point where Aurelae is, sees her, assumes she is dead and starts to pass her up. Aurelae is NOT dead . She grabs Rael’s arm as he is reaching past her and grabbing the Bag of Holding from Ulrich’s corpse and says, “I’M NOT DEAD.”
 * Rael either doesn’t hear her, or he ignores her, she will never be quite certain.
 * Rael gets the Bag of Holding and begins to make his way back up from whence he came. Aurelae grabs Ulrich with one arm and latches onto Rael’s ankle with the other, and they make it out.


 *  They revive Ulrich , and now the group is without a Scroll of Resurrection. They are thankful they had it, and saved it for a truly dire time.


 * Aurelae is still covered in the insides of the Quake Snake and the emotions on her face alternate between shock and rage. Rael casts predestination to clean her up and gives her a charming smile. She glares at him.


 * Aequitus and Celador take a 10x10 foot piece of Quake Snake skin.


 * Aurelae examines the Quake Snakes mouth and takes a tooth, and for that matter so does everyone else. #EVERYONEGETSATOOTH!
 *  Quake Snake teeth are HUGE, about the size of your forearm.


 * BUT WAIT, you might say, WHAT ABOUT THAT MAGIC BEAN that Celador threw into the Quake Snake’s mouth at the beginning of this entire encounter?
 * Without warning 14 psychedelic pink toads jump from the Quake Snake’s corpse. They are the size of a regular toad, and appear to be pretty normal aside from being neon pink.
 * So’Sathol casts “Talk to Animals” and tells them to get away from him if they are poisonous. They do not move away.
 * Aurelae speaks with one of the toads and asks it several questions.
 * Aurelae: Where did you come from?
 * Pink Toad: I dunno. *looks at Quake Snake corpse* There maybe?
 * Aurelae: What are you called?
 * Pink Toad: I dunno.
 * Aurelae: Okay…you are called Pink Toads.
 * Pink Toad: Okay, sure.
 * Aurelae: Are you nice?
 * Pink Toad: No.
 * At that, Aurelae stops speaking with them, walks over to pick up Sephra’s corpse, turns to the others and tells them she is leaving now and they should follow her. And she starts walking back West, along The Edge, towards The River.
 * Celador swipes at one Pink Toad with his sword, and it turns into pink mist. After that, they all follow Aurelae.


 * The 6-day journey home is uneventful, but they do stop somewhere North of Old Hardholme and bury Sephra. They owe the Thundercat their lives, it is the least they can do.